Vocal Mama

 I am not a relationship expert. I have dated a guy for 2 years and then married him. We have been together for around 8.5 years now. We have had the initial exciting phase followed by the newly married honeymoon phase, the without kid fun phase, the pregnancy and new parents phase, and current phase which we can call “know each other too well” phase. There have been ups and downs, we have fought, we still fight at times, but we are growing up together in this relationship. There are some rules that we stick by and follow in our day to day life to make sure that our relationship rule and does not ruin us as an individual or as a family.  Here are those 5 golden rules that we swear by: 1. Communicate: I was a silent person, I used to fight and then go into a shell. S was and is a good communicator than me. In the initial months of marriage he snatched me out of my shell and made sure that he do not get the killing silent treatments. I worked on it and boom things got easier. We...

 I was 2 months pregnant when I got to know that the project I had been working for last 5 years is wrapping up within 15 days. It was not a good time to start over but I was positive. Pregnancy is a condition and not a disease and I was willing to work as I used to. In no time, I was assigned a new project. I was skeptical and wanted to tell my new manager that I was pregnant and will be going on maternity leave soon but there were still 10 days remaining for me to complete my first trimester. All those who have been pregnant know how would-be moms refrain to share the pregnancy news before beginning of their second trimester. Being a first time mother, I was scared too and hence decided to wait for ten days. I joined the project and after a week or so, when I started my second trimester, I informed my manager about my pregnancy. Her face was expressionless on hearing that. I felt anxious at that moment. She said she will let me know how to proceed. I was ready for anything since ...

“A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.” I read this quote somewhere in my early 20s and was immediately shaken by it. By reading and understanding it, I realized how wonderfully brave my mother is: to be okay with me about being on my own in a new city, very far away from hers, at the age of 20. I feel I can never be as brave and uptight like my mother but I had to start trying to act brave when my son (Y) finally started school. Thanks to COVID, Y has mostly been in-house, always surrounded by the elders. Since I have also been home-based ever since he was born, he had no idea about and around separation. I have sometimes left him behind to go shopping or something but then also he was in a verified space surrounded by people he knew and loved since beginning and most importantly they kept him busy and distracted until I was back. I knew that the first day of school is going to be hard on him but what I did not know was this that it is going to ...

Yesterday was women’s day. My phone was bombarded with women’s day messages. I am home-based now but I remember being showered with gifts and chocolates on women’s day when I used to physically visit office. All that feels nice, isn’t it? Everyone loves to be treated with warmth and we women are no exceptions. But is this all what we need in general or on women’s day? I think more than the material items, we need and deserve the gift of freedom, the gift of choice, the gift of being.   Starting from very beginning, our birth is not celebrated as much as a boy’s. We are still considered as a liability than an asset. No matter how good we are at studying or sports, we must know how to handle house hold chores; there is nothing wrong in learning and doing household chores, what’s wrong is the bias around it that only women need to do all that. We must learn the art of respecting and pleasing people and the list is never ending. When we grow up and start working, we usually encounter m...

Yuvaan was 7 months old when we took a family trip to Agra in 2020. After that, the pandemic hit and left us home-bound. Now when things were settled, we planned a small trip to Rishikesh. It’s a 4 hour drive from our place and seemed do-able with a toddler. One of my cousin’s family (him, Bhabhi, and their adorable 8 years old daughter Anika) joined us for the vacay: the more; the merrier. Y has met Anika numerous times and he loves her to the core, he calls her Anika didi. The trip started with both these kids chilling on the backseat of the car. They played, ate, and watched peppa pig on A’s tablet. No fuss, no tantrums, only fun and joy. The trip felt like a cakewalk. After 2 hours, we took a halt to chill and eat. After lunch, both the kids slept and parents enjoyed the quite time.   We reached Rishikesh in another 2 hours. Y was elated and excited to look at a water entity and the hills. We took a boat ride and both the kids were so happy that they denied to get off the boat....

14th January (Friday) was my father in law’s birthday. We and specially Y was very excited to celebrate his daadu’s birthday because birthday means balloons and cake. The birthday celebration was a hit but while finishing dinner, my mother in law complained of body ache and fever. We gave her medicines and quarantined her immediately. Her RT-PCR for COVID was scheduled for the next morning. She tested positive. Since she was already in quarantine and we had heard that omicron was showing mild symptoms, we did not panic. We consulted a doctor and started her medications. The house-help was asked to stay on leave indefinitely and hence, that responsibility came up to me but since it was a weekend, things were manageable. Saturday went okay except for the fact my own mom tested positive too, she was away at my cousin’s and felt fine. Mum in law felt fine too. None of us showed symptoms. And then bam! Sunday came. Y was normal till lunch but then suddenly started vomiting and had high feve...

 2021 has been the worst year of my life and that’s solely because I lost my father in 2021. Well, that lost is irreplaceable and unexplainable and nothing/nobody can ever change that. The memories of his death still haunts me. But, keeping aside the fact that I can’t ever get papa back and I blame this sucky year for that, 2021 taught me a lot of things which I don’t think I would have learnt any other way: 1. Death is inevitable. We all are going to die and thats a solid reason to make the most of this life. Do what makes you happy. Work hard party harder.  2. Help yourself. Nobody but you should be responsible for your own life. Keep some money aside for the unfortunate times. Secure your and your family’s future. Get medical insurances. God help them who help themselves.  3. Expect nothing. This one is the toughest but expectations only cause sadness. Don’t expect people to come and spoon-feed you. Take the steering of your life in our own hands. Its your life and you...