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First Day of School

“A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.”


I read this quote somewhere in my early 20s and was immediately shaken by it. By reading and understanding it, I realized how wonderfully brave my mother is: to be okay with me about being on my own in a new city, very far away from hers, at the age of 20. I feel I can never be as brave and uptight like my mother but I had to start trying to act brave when my son (Y) finally started school.


Thanks to COVID, Y has mostly been in-house, always surrounded by the elders. Since I have also been home-based ever since he was born, he had no idea about and around separation. I have sometimes left him behind to go shopping or something but then also he was in a verified space surrounded by people he knew and loved since beginning and most importantly they kept him busy and distracted until I was back. I knew that the first day of school is going to be hard on him but what I did not know was this that it is going to be hard on me too.


I started mentally preparing him a couple of days ago that soon he will go to school and meet new people. On his first day, he was all excited. His grandparents and I went to drop him and for the first few days we were allowed to sit there and wait for 1.5 hours till he completed his class. I entered the classroom with Y hanging on my hip and I saw two children crying for their mothers in their loudest voices. I panicked a bit, I am sure Y must have been too. His teacher came and tried to greet him but he was in no mood of all that. He clanged to me rather tightly. I had to somehow take him off me and leave him there.


The reception area outside the classroom was the replica of what was going inside. Parents were confused, restless, worried, and helpless. They knew that their kid is in safe place, they knew that the kids are in transition phase and will be fine but that’s what being a parent does to you; you just worry a lot (sometimes unnecessarily). I roamed here and there to gather Y’s books and to pay his quarterly fees. I peeped (once) inside the classroom through the glass window and saw him clinging to his first ever teacher like a monkey. He was sobbing. I felt horrible at that moment (truly), I so wished to go and get him back and to hug him/assure him that I am always there but my mind reminded me about the quote I have cited in the beginning and I walked away with a bold face.


After spending around 1 hour inside the classroom, Y was walked outside. He was still clinging to his teacher. She handed him to me and assured that he will settle down in few days. I believed her. Once we came back home, I kept telling Y how I was outside all that while, how nice the teacher is, how much fun he will have at school, and how once school is over, I will always get him home. It must have clicked him somewhere, because his second day (today) was way better than the first. He cried but for shorter span when he was taken away from me. He then played, scribbled, and drove the swing car. He also hugged his first and (already) favorite teacher and waved good bye to her. While returning home I asked him whether he wants to go to school again; he said “yes” and I inhaled relief while exhaling my unnecessary mom-brain caused stress.


So, to my fellow moms: please hang in there. Trust the process. Every kid is different, some will adjust on the first day, some will take time. Just be there and keep boosting them positively. Cut them a slack, show extra affection, and listen to them during their first ever transition period of life. They will be just fine. You must have chosen the right school and people to take care of them so relax and let the proficient ones do their job. Meanwhile, enjoy your hard-earned 2-3 hours of free time which you have literally got after serving the little masters for approximately 2-3 years. 


Cheers to the motherhood!

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