Vocal Mama

When Y was tiny, everyone looked at us with so much warmth, they helped us, guided us, and loved to hold our boy. Now, we have a toddler and the same people think twice before inviting us or visiting us, they don't get excited about holding Y unless they enjoy being pulled and punched, they look at us with eyes full of pity and they think of us as control-less freaks. People without kids judge us in all possible ways and think that they will be way better at parenting than us. Hahahaha. Let's forgive them, they have no idea what they are going to deal with. Here is a glimpse of what we are dealing with now a days: One day, Y was crying because he could not wear his shoes-over his sandals which were already there on his feet. Another day, he was crying because he ate spicy chips and he wanted water but when we offered water, he was mad because he wanted chips not water. His favorite rhymes and cartoons change everyday, ofcourse he can't update us verbally about it so he keep...

Sumit by nature is a chirpy and positive being, he is usually easy going and practical. He is one of those people who do what they like and don't give a damn about the world. He has always loved his personal space, sports, and small friend circle.  Two years into wedding bliss, we got to know that we were expecting an addition to our family. I was nervous, excited, anxious, and curious but Sumit was cool and all game. As they say, "Being a father doesn't start when the child is born, it starts when the mother is pregnant", I was very well taken care of while i was pregnant. We lived in a nuclear set up so the entire responsibility was on Sumit's head but i never found him stressing out or losing his cool; not even while handling the worst of my mood swings. I expected to see him trembling and crying when i was in labor but no luck even there. He was the coolest one around. All positive and ready to welcome the newborn.  The first time he got stressed was when the ...

I wrote this letter to Y when he was born. Never thought i would share it publically yet here i am. It's an unfiltered one, i wrote what i could with a 10-days-post-partum brain. Hope you enjoy reading it. Hey Buddy, First of all, we love you very much and you have brought immense happiness in our lives. We wish that you grow up to be a humble and loving boy. We do not want you to be a topper; being average would be okay but we surely want you to have fun, persue your hobbies, and be social. Remember that it is okay to make mistakes but learn from them and don't be so stupid to make the same mistake over and over again. Respect the ones who respect you. Ignore the ones who don't, it's their problem not yours. Love what you do or do what you love. Travel. Try new cuisines. Help people in need. It's okay even if they don't help you back, everyone does not have the same heart as yours. Don't just make girlfriends, fall in love. It's okay even if you fail, i...

Hello Yuvaan, 2020 has been challenging and uncertain. It has been full of up and downs. The next challenge in our list is mama going back to work. The good news is this that for now, I will be working from home and the bad news is this that now, you won't have my undivided attention since I will have other things to focus on. Since the time you were born, I have been around you dedicatedly, I have constantly been your go-to person and your primary caretaker. Now, things will change. Your caretakers will take turns. Sometimes it will be your grandparents, sometimes your dad, and sometimes me. I am excited yet anxious about this change but I know that everyone in the family loves you very much and you will be taken care of. You must be thinking: why? Why do mommy need to leave the way things are and begin a new chapter. Well, there are two reasons. First is this that I am an individual, I have my own ambitions and aspirations and second is this that this will help you start being in...

I read somewhere about a mom who rejoined work 3 months postpartum and has taken her daughter to several countries in last 4 years. That made me feel like a failure.  I have been on maternity leave followed by childcare leave since Y was born. Thanks to corona, Y has been in-house since he was 7 months old. Before that, being a new mother and a person with moderate OCD, i was too scared to take him out unnecessarily. His only go-outs since March are his pediatrician's visit. He is too small to wear a mask and social distancing ofcourse does not make sense to him, he is a toddler and all he want to do is explore.  When i see people posting about their children's photoshoots, birthday pictures, ceremonies; I feel nothing but guilt. I feel bad about not being able to give Y all that. He did not have a birthday party because of lockdown. It was just us on his birthday. He barely got any gifts. There was bare minimum decoration which S and I could do ourselves. I baked a cake mysel...

It's a ritual in us Punjabis to perform mundan a.k.a. tonsure ceremony on the second Dussehra of baby's life. This Dussehra was Yuvi's second. We started planning the ceremony way in advance because of the COVID chaos. No one was invited, It was just us plus Yuvi's paternal grand parents. We requested a known-trustworthy barber to come and chop his hair. Sumit and I knew that Yuvi is going to cry inconsolably during the ceremony. That's what kids do. We were mentally prepared for that. We had a plan in mind to process the things smoothly. So, before the barber arrived, we made Yuvi sit on his high chair and made him watch his favorite rhymes on Youtube. We thought that way he will be distracted and the barber will be able to run the trimmer in no time. For those who don't know, the mundan is performed in 2 phases: in first phase, the barber run a trimmer through the hair and in second phase he runs a ustara to clean the remaining hair. Yuvi sat and watched the r...

I had a wonderful pregnancy with very little complains. I was working the whole time, had super caring colleagues at work, and an amzingly supportive family back home. Above all that, i had an always-smiling, knowledgeable, and comforting gynaecologist. I never actually worried about the delivery part until 38 weeks of gestation period but after that i was always panicking, overthinking, or crying.  I did not have any labor pains until almost 40 weeks. Since baby and I both were getting huge, my doctor suggested to induce labor. Frankly, i was way too scared to deliver my baby vaginally and just wanted to get it done by c-section. People who really know me, know that i am not good friends with "patience" but "impulsiveness" is my best buddy. But, since my doctor had faith and suggested so, i decided to get induced. We left home totally prepared. My husband and mother in law accompanied me. We were cracking jokes all the way, i was nervous but just wanted to get don...