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Valid Rant about Invalid Comments!

I was working out in gym today and the trainer told me that I need to spend more time in gym and I don’t seem to have lost weight and I need to focus on losing the tummy fat etc etc. I smiled and nodded but I felt immensely bad. May be, he was right but I am sensitive and people’s words affect me easily, it really triggered some thoughts in me. 

As far as I can remember, since I was 9-10 years old, I started facing people’s opinion about me being too thin and too dusky. I was very tanned back then because I used to walk to school in sun and the concept of sunscreen was foreign. These people who jokingly or causally gave their opinion were either close family friends, relatives, or teachers. I was also appreciated for being smart but it did not make me as happy as other comments made me sad. Later I grew up and even my smartness was questioned. Sadly, such things never end.

In college also, for 3 years I tried to fit in. My tanning started subsiding a little bit and I used to get so happy about people commenting on my complexion getting better. Soon, I started gaining weight and then comments on how I am not as thin as I was before, began. I remember that I did not eat anything for one whole day because I felt fat. This was when i was 55-60 kgs in 5 feets 6 inches. Let me tell you I was not fat at all but people’s comments altered my mind into thinking and feeling so.

When I shifted to Mumbai, I lost weight-I guess, so I was at peace in that manner but whenever I visited back home, I was asked why I am so tanned again. Well, mumbai weather/beaches, I used to say. After wedding, once again, I gained slight weight and comments started pouring in. That was the year when I started working out for the first time in my life. Things got better, I felt better, everything was in place till I got pregnant and gained over 25 kgs in 9 months. 

Losing those 25 kgs was a piece of cake, I will say. I just ate right and did all household work in Covid times and lost it in a year. Also, it was covid times, no one got to see me and comment on my body so I was in the best mental space but then I lost my dad and for almost a year I did not do any physical workout. 

I started going to the gym for my mental health after I lost papa. Gym made me feel good, It gave me 1 hour to myself and to my thoughts. It sorted my mind in many ways. People who knew that I go to gym, started asking me within 3 months of gymming that why ain’t I losing weight? My trainer asked me to eat right. Since I was working out, after my mental health was better, I also started looking out to get in a better shape because why not. I started intermittent fasting and being as much consistent as I could be in gym to be “good enough”. I had just started to fit better in my clothes and feel good and then I heard these statements in gym today and guess what, here I am, starting from scratch again, but well, do I really need to?

Since morning, I have been thinking, as a society how obsessed we are with weight and complexion and other useless things and how narrow our beauty parameters are. People can look good and feel good in any freaking shape, size, or complexion. Why do we feel obligated to comment on other people’s body? Why can’t we just shut up. Have you gained/lost weight-what kind of a conversation starter is this? Weight is not even a valid parameter. Weight varies on hourly basis. You weigh after pooping and your weight will be 2kgs less. Why can’t we understand that harsh words or even casual comments might affect people. I am not even asking about being kind, it’s as basic as just minding your own business. 

I am not sure if society will ever understand this but my mantra for 2024 is to stop giving damn about what anyone think about me and my body. I will do what makes me happy and anyone’s opinion will be invalid. Considering that I am very sensitive and get affected in a blink, this is going to be my continuous resolution for next 5 years but I will atleast keep trying till I stop getting affected by shit. 

Thank you for reading my rant. Happy New Year, Folks! ❤️

PS: if you find this blog pointless and like to provide your opinion about anything and everything, you might be a part of the problem. 

Comments

Karthika Nair said…
Society's fixation on providing validation often manifests in superficial attributes like height, weight, and complexion, exemplifying the pervasive influence of societal norms on individual self-worth. In this obsession, people find themselves scrutinized against arbitrary standards, leading to a culture where one's physical appearance becomes a yardstick for acceptance. The pressure to conform to preconceived notions of beauty or an ideal physique is palpable, with individuals seeking validation based on these external characteristics. This not only perpetuates unrealistic beauty standards but also fosters an environment where self-esteem becomes contingent on societal approval, hindering genuine self-acceptance. The quest for validation in these aspects highlights the societal inclination to judge and categorize individuals based on external attributes, rather than recognizing the richness and diversity that contributes to human identity.
31 December 2023 at 02:05
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