The other day we took our 2 year old (referred as Y, hereafter) to the society park for outdoor play. He was enjoying himself until an unknown 1.5 year old came and hugged him out of the blue. Y got intimidated by this overwhelming gesture and pulled the li'l boy away but the li'l boy did not give up and the event ended up with Y crying out loud. My mother was looking at all this drama as she had accompanied us to the park. When Y started crying, she said, "arre, why are u scared of such a small baby. He is just hugging you. Come on, don't be so shy". Just so that you know, Y is usually very clingy. He hugs and kisses us all the time.
Now, I am not a parenting expert and I love and respect my mother a lot but my child is not someone to be judged. He must have the freedom to express. If he was intimidated by that hug, he had right to oppose and react in whatever way he wanted to. Y is 2 years old, thats how the 2 year olds are. Y is learning to handle and express his huge emotions. His demands and reactions might seem invalid and useless to us but for him and his baby mind, that must be a big deal. I don't mind him being afraid of certain gestures or people. I don't mind if he does not want to share his toys with other kids. Whatever he is going through is a phase and being a parent I must cut him some slack.
I often see people comparing their kids with other kids. I don't understand why! Why do people do that. That's one of the worst thing we can do to a child. Every child is unique. Every child has his/her own interest and nature. Some of Y's cousins are very outgoing, some are very good at reciting poems and songs, some are very naughty and hyperactive. All of them have their own unique personality. Y is a calm child. He loves to read and draw. He is very emotional and affectionate. He would litreally never hit a person. He does get angry and frustrated but he rant out by crying out loud or by rolling his eyes at us.
I hope this never happens with Y but the worst I have seen is people asking baby boys to be tough. Do we really need to teach gender discrimination to babies at such young age? A kid is a kid. They do not need this categorism. I hella don't want to raise my son with the idea of fake masculinity. I want to raise my son with the idea of equality. I want to and will always 'let him be'. He is free to express himself and do whatever he likes. I love how he shows his affection. I love how loving and caring he is already. Why does he need to be tough; just because he is a boy? I don't think that's a valid reason. I will make sure that with time, he learns to take a stand for himself and that would be enough for the 'tough' part. Right now; to take a stand for himself, he either cries or shouts and well, from my perspective its cent percent valid and smart.
I am not an expert but if you are reading this and you are a parent, please cut your kids some slack and let them be. The whole purpose of parenting is to nourish and support the original-natural personality of kids and to not push them to be like someone else. There is no fun in being like everyone else. The fun always lies in being your own self; being unique.
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